Relationships and marriage are always so harshly scrutinised and judged, most often by the parties involved.  If you think about it, if we had as many traffic offences as we do failed relationships, our licenses would be revoked.  I grew up like most little girls always with the dream of finding the perfect love and riding into the sunset.  I felt like I was the only person who had come from a home of imperfection.  The loss of a child bore down heavily on my parents and both parties had their own ways of dealing with it.  As an only child, a little more mature and more perceptive than anyone else my age, I became party to many of the nuances of unhappiness and discontent.  I remember visiting friends homes and wishing I had what they had. I fought my way into adulthood determined that I would find my perfect match and life.

This past weekend has been a kaleidoscope of emotions.  Predominantly joy,  witnessing and sharing in the marriage of my dearest friend. We are all so busy with our lives that the adage about only seeing friends and family at weddings and funerals rang true.  It is only at a gathering such as a wedding that old groups of friends are reunited and recollections of yesteryear fill the spaces with easy banter and giggles. The most poignant part of regrouping for me was that we are all just a huge tapestry.  For some of us our partners have changed over the years and that brought complexities to our friendships at that time, with some we mourned the passing of their spouses who had been so intrinsically part of us and via children and memories still remain that way, for others, health issues remain so challenging and courage and sheer will keeps them fortified.  Others have had financial and personal demons when they felt at times there was nowhere to turn. There was a beauty  looking at the younger generation, now young adults and parents themselves and seeing and feeling the energy of their lives and sensing their hopes and dreams. I am convinced that they have their lives rather more sorted than we did.  They seem so much more certain and bold and not so concerned with how everyone else views them.  They embrace warmly across the sexes and mingle with people of all ages.  They make us all so proud. The point of my ramble is we all think that everyone else has things easier and more perfect,  and it is so good to be reminded when surrounded by friends that we have all walked paths of our own.  The beauty of the often crooked path and burdened shoulders is that your friends, your tribe, your people will hold you up and stand with you no matter what.

Je suis – I am